Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
