Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
