Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
