I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
