If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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