Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
