you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
