Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
