the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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