I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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