well I can't set my house on fire every night
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He has the fingertips of a God
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