i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
