I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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