I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've blown a few things in my day
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
