I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's always time for handjobs
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
