You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Will you blow on my dice?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
