After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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