just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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