Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
