I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
