Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
