I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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