then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
