DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
