I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
