I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
