I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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