thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
