shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
