now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
