I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I just sharted jello shots
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