its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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