He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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