I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you traded sex for a burrito?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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