No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have already put on my inside pants.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
