I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
