i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
