Plan B is the new Plan A
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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