She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
