I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
