No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
