I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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