tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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