It was confusing and full of hummus
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm just crazy horny about you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
