Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
