swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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