a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
