Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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