ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He did a backflip because drugs
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
