don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
