I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
