Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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