So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
