Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
